A look back at 2024
Hugh Town bay, Scilly Isles, September
The start of the year found me in a grey, if not totally bleak, place in my life. The mechanics of sorting out my mother's 'estate' were well underway, my return to work had no great surprises, and some sort of personal routine was being reestablished but there was a hollowness to it all as I came to terms with the reality of Vi's passing. After the chaos & turbulence of the latter half of 2023 I'd found some stability but this felt more like stasis, a stunned inertia while my inner self tried to reorient itself in this new life. I'd found a surprising amount of support from friends & family but within this safer space there was a lot of internal work & adjustment that I'd just have to work through myself.
Flooding, January
The outside world made its presence felt early in January as the river burst its banks, splitting the town in two and leaving a good portion of it underwater. Luckily the floods just about made it to the pavement outside my house and provided some nice watery views without being more than an inconvenience (to me at least) - you can see some pictures here. A day later the waters receded and things were back to normal, although there were more, smaller floodings in February & March. The river remained between its banks for most of the year but it would rise again in the Winter.
Frozen canal, January
January brings my annual diabetes review and once again the news was good - all of my levels were going in the right direction and with my regular medication I was safely established in the 'at risk' (rather than 'serious') band. There was some talk of reducing the dosage on my prescription but we decided it was better to be safe than sorry and to revisit this again next year. Although I still avoid sweet things in my diet (and have become an avid reader of 'traffic lights' on food packaging) I don't have to worry too much about my diabetes and will happily indulge in the occasional naughty dessert when eating out.
More medical good news came when I turned up to have a new crown fitted at the dentist, following on from a temporary repair in December. After having a good look & poke around he declared that the repair was holding together nicely and would probably last for another six months, up to my next scheduled checkup. I've not had any serious problems with my teeth for a few years now but it's always cause for celebration when the drill can be avoided! Even better - the repair is still going strong nearly a year later!
One morning I logged in at work and was greeted with a dramatic message saying I should disconnect from the company's servers and not use my work laptop until further notice! Once we'd established that our 'chat' network could be used for communication (most of my department work from home) it transpired that there had been a 'cyber incursion' and all of our hardware would need to be physically checked for invasive software - instructions were given for couriering our individual computers back to head office where they would be vetted & 'cleared'. And so for two weeks my work day consisted of checking for any company updates using my iPad and being told to check again the next day. It made a nice break from my usual working routine but the daily deferrals meant I couldn't start on any major projects or trips so it ended up feeling like an endless weekend. Which wasn't too terrible. The final twist came when our laptops were returned to us with mismatched charging cables - in my case no trace could be found of the original and a new one arrived in the post a few days later.
Andalusia holiday, February
This enforced holiday led me to reexamine my working situation. I'd been working part time (three days a week) for nearly five months but dealing with my mother's decline hadn't given me a chance to see how that would work out going forward. I was now receiving my state pension which was making up the shortfall in income for now but it was hard to gauge what I'd be living off if I stopped working - my chaotic career path over the past few years had left me with a ragged collection of company pension schemes and I'd not paid them much serious attention at the time anyway. Now was not the right time for my battered psyche to be looking at long-term Life Changes but I noted that this was something I'd definitely need to look at seriously. But not right now.
In the meantime I could look into what could be done with my current situation. My company doesn't have any regular review processes in place and it had been a while since my last pay rise so I asked about getting a pay review, the reply came back that there would be a comprehensive pay band review for everyone in the summer. It felt like putting off any major decisions for a while would be a good idea so I (metaphorically) sat back and waited to see what would ensue.
New espresso machine, February
February brought my first international trip since the pandemic, a week's holiday in Andalusia with my dear friend Saille. She'd mentioned this as a possibility back in the midst of my bereavement gloom and a tiny, inner part of me had managed to give a vaguely positive response - some of my inner demons are surprisingly helpful at times! Together we had a splendid time - you can read more about it here.
During the preparation for my Spanish journey I discovered that my passport was close to expiry, so shortly after returning I began the online process of applying for a new one. All was well (& relatively straightforward) until it came to the photo which the website kept rejecting as my eyes were 'not sufficiently open'. Despite a series of increasingly bug eyed poses I couldn't produce an acceptable image so I used the 'submit anyway' button and added a note that I couldn't open my eyes any wider, expecting this to be the start of an elaborate appeals process. To my amazement this was immediately accepted and my new (last?) passport dropped through the letterbox a week later.
My musical output had dropped to nothing during the second half of 2023 so I found myself resorting to an old tactic - forcing myself to sit down with a chosen synthesizer (in this instance my redoubtable Waldorf Iridium), play around, and see what emerged. It took a while to get going - I'd not used the Iridium seriously for eighteen months or so and some refamiliarisation was required - but soon enough I was finding new tunes & tones and as the year progressed I released three albums; Migrant, Insight, & Solace. It's very hard for me to objectively assess my musical output but subjectively I was very pleased with the results, the tunes were more subdued than previous works (no surprise considering my emotional state) but had more depth & subtlety than I'd managed before. At least to my ears. I've long accepted that the music I create is primarily for my own enjoyment and I spent a large part of the year being buoyed up by listening to my back catalogue while my inner critic seemed to be taking an extended break.
This year's albums (tap for more details & links for listening)
There's been the usual back & forth in my musical equipment arsenal. I've said goodbye to my Anyma Phi synthesizer, a 'physical modelling' synth that produced some wonderful sounds but used a mechanism that I just couldn't get to grips with, at least to my own satisfaction. Curiously I'm considering another physical modelling synth as a potential acquisition so we'll see how I get on with that. A new arrival is an Oxi One sequencer which may replace my trusty KeyStep Pro. And finally I gave away the old bass practice amp that's been with me for longer than I can remember (my current stage rig is small (& quiet) enough for home practice). I've not played bass in public for over two years now but I remain hopeful that I can find a band and get back into making music with others again. Fingers crossed! On top of all this there were firmware upgrades for two of my synthesizers giving them new capabilities - it continues to amaze me that electronic instruments can add new features & fixes long after you've bought them.
Departing synthesizer, arriving sequencer
April has become eye health month for me with my regular optician and diabetic eye screening appointments. All was well at both - in fact my diabetic checkup was reset to be biennial in future - but while waiting for my eye test I found myself reading through the adverts for contact lenses. I'd worn contacts back in my 30's but had eventually decided that they weren't worth the hassle, perhaps things had moved on in the intervening years? And with only one working eye the costs would theoretically be halved. I chatted about it with my optician and was scheduled in for a follow-up test and a trial set of lenses.
The new lenses were indeed a huge improvement over the ones I remembered. Much thinner & lighter, easier to put in (although quite a bit trickier to take out), and much more comfortable to wear. Disposable too, so none of the messing around with cleaning solutions & sterilised water. A day's trial run was a delight but some unexpected drawbacks began to emerge - with my short sight I'm used to peering over the top of my glasses when I need to read something up close but with the contact in place I needed a pair of reading glasses to reverse the correction that the lens provided (if you see what I mean). On top of which I anticipated using the lenses for summer walks and the like and in practice I'd be wearing sunglasses on days like these, meaning I'd be wearing some sort of glasses either way. In the end I decided against going back to contacts but the initial batch I was given was a 'free trial' set so they remain in the bathroom cabinet in case I find a use for them.
New passport, April
My former days as a dance teacher came back to visit when I was interviewed as part of the Roots to the Branch project, looking at some of the pioneers of the Circle/Sacred Dance movement. It was nice to revisit a part of my life that feels like something from the distant past (I taught my last workshop in 2016) and even more so to find that my contributions were fondly remembered. You can watch the interview here.
During a visit in April Saille had, very delicately, pointed out that while I was clearly still going through a period of grief the house had become a bit grubby & tatty and taking a good look around I could see what she meant. Rather than forcing myself back into a more vigorous housework routine (which I suspected I wouldn't be able to easily maintain) I asked my neighbours for domestic cleaning recommendations and as a result Tina the Cleaner became a regular visitor to my home. After a mammoth first session (which really showed how far I'd let things slide) we settled into a routine which grew thinner as I picked up on my housekeeping duties, ending up with our current arrangement of a monthly visit. I feel very happy with this, it's nice to feel I can still keep the place in order while providing a job for someone who can give it that extra deep clean.
Scattering Vi's ashes, May
There were fewer home improvements than in recent years. I replaced my espresso machine with a shiny new one (the old one went to a local giveaway website) while on Tina's advice I upgraded my old mop & bucket with a fancy model that incorporated a sort of foot-operated spinning dryer. There was a regular train of old household items to nearby charity shops, recycling banks, or (at last resort) dustbins, most of this was rarely used kitchen equipment or wardrobe items as I continued my purge of superfluous belongings. I'd been introduced to the idea of döstädning or Swedish Death Cleaning (what a great expression!) where you tidy up & clear away your possessions so that there's less work to do after your death and decided this would be a great gift for future me (without the dying part). And I can definitely recommend it! And, of course, there was another new bedlinen set but at this point that goes without saying.
Green Man Festival, May
A house maintenance triumph came with my (fairly) regular dismantling, cleaning, and reconstruction of the plumbing under my kitchen sink. I've always thought of myself as quite a klutz at DIY (with evidence to back that up) so this fairly simple task - made much easier with modern 'construction toy' plumbing - always fills me with a great sense of pride & achievement.
In May the family met up in Epping Forest to scatter my mother's ashes. We'd decided on a direct cremation (one without an associated service) on the basis that this would be simpler & easier but the procedure had dragged on & on with little feedback from the company handling it. I was a little shocked when it was revealed that the actual cremation would be taking place in Nottingham, I was expecting a local crematorium would be carrying it out between their normal services rather than human remains being shipped around the country. But eventually the ashes were delivered and a date was set for sister Marina to come over from Australia to join us for the scattering ceremony.
With Kay, Marina, & friends, May
Vi had asked for her ashes to be scattered in the same place as those of her husband John and brother-in-law Tony, just outside a small village where Tony grew up and not far from the town where she & John had married and began their family (and very close to where I was born). There was some discussion (and checking with earlier photos) about whether we'd found the exact spot but we soon agreed that it was near enough not to matter. The small group of family & friends stood in a circle and shared personal thoughts & memories of Vi, letting people speak as they wanted with no set order or time limit - the recollections were sad & happy, deep & silly, tightly specific or broad & loose, painting a multi-faceted image that was both comfortingly familiar and yet full of her quirks & idiosyncrasies. As the words drew to a close the atmosphere was deeply moving without being mawkish, in my mind I could see Vi deciding that we'd spent long enough on this and it was time to get on with things. And so we slowly meandered to the village pub and eased back into the mundane world with chips & beer.
With the weather (& my mood) improving I'd started taking the bike out again for rides around the local area, primarily for exercise but also as a way of being out in nature and watching the seasons evolve, something I'd grown to appreciate more & more over recent years. In keeping with my reawakened awareness of creeping shabbiness I bought a new helmet, gloves, & shorts, both for improved comfort (& safety) and for self-esteem when meeting the hordes of other elderly cyclists on the local country lanes. Sadly these new accoutrements were put to the test when I came a cropper later in the year but I made it through with just scrapes & bruises. And some increased road surface awareness.
With Liz, Cragside, Northumberland, May
Later in May we had the (third) annual Green Man Festival in Bradford on Avon, a day of (mostly) British folk music & dance. This is delightfully set at various small stages throughout the town, providing lots of variety & options while remaining cosy & local. A very unexpected surprise came with finding an old friend (& bandmate!) from my university days, playing in a Breton group at one of the pubs. The festival is a wonderful collection of active dance groups from the traditional to the wildly eccentric along with a parade of elements from English folklore (the titular Green Man, Queen of the May, George & the Dragon, and many more) and even a contemporary Mummers' Play. There are some pictures here.
Out with workmates, London, June
In June I made another visit to Bristol Airport, this time for an internal flight to visit my friend Liz in Newcastle. I was much more relaxed for this journey and apparently a bit too relaxed - halfway to the airport I realised I'd forgotten my passport! Some quick online checking revealed that in theory I could fly domestically using my driving licence as identification and someone had suggested that as it was a government issued photo ID I should be able to use my bus pass, something I was immediately determined to try. As it turned out I wasn't asked for anything beyond my boarding pass for both outbound and return flights which seemed strange in these times of high airport security. The travelling itself was fine and I had a splendid time with Liz.
I work almost exclusively from home nowadays but in June my team had a get-together in one of the company's London offices. It was great to meet up in person again and although not much actual programming work was done the socialising & associated team building were (IMHO) a much more productive use of the time. It was nice to dip back into the buzz of London street life but as the sophisticates of the London staff led us deeper & deeper into urban nightlife I began to realise that those days are (mostly) in my past now and I was forced to flee from the final clamorous dungeon of earthly delights. I was joined by a workmate and we retired to an outdoor pub bench for a quieter drink.
Flowering succulent, July
The promised pay band review had not materialised at work so I asked about getting an individual pay review, which had been the usual procedure before the latest spate of reorganisations. The response came that the review process itself was in flux at the moment (who reviews the review process?) so I put together a similar document to my last pay review and sent it up the management chain. After a series of delays, redirections, vague responses, & corporate doublespeak I found out who my 'manager' was for this sort of request (which came as a surprise to both of us) and he said that there would be a series of reviews & rises through October to December. I wasn't exactly convinced by this but I set my calendar and waited.
A special moment came in July when my sole houseplant burst into spectacular bloom. This little succulent had been a present from my parents back when I lived in Scotland and had only come into flower on a couple of occasions since then. A final farewell? Who can say.
Artwork from Vi's house
We'd decided to put Vi's house up for sale early in the year and after a couple of friends & neighbours had had a look and decided it wasn't for them it was listed using a local estate agent. A likely buyer was found fairly early on but the process then started to drag out longer & longer. It seems like house buying remains firmly stuck as some historical anomaly, I appreciate that it will be the largest monetary transaction that most people undertake and having a good set of checkpoints & validations in place makes a lot of sense but in these days of near-instant communication & verification it can feel akin to sending a vellum scroll by stagecoach. And this tedious formalism doesn't even produce good results, the conveyancing firm regularly sent badly formatted documents with incorrect details or failed to let us know in advance that certain forms needed to be completed for things to proceed. Having my sister Marina in Australia added another complication, some forms needed to be signed & posted back as a scanned copy was deemed unacceptable - to this day I'm not sure if this was a legal requirement or just something the solicitors hadn't dealt with before.
On top of this the buyer was asking increasingly strange questions, culminating in a surveyors report that included 'alterations' that were part of the original construction (and were shared by all the houses in the street) and demanding a huge price reduction as a result. We replied by asking them to put in an offer for the house 'as is' otherwise we'd put it back on the market - they quickly responded with a modest reduction to which we agreed. And so the final legal processes began.
Mounted crystal, August
We'd agreed early on that family members could take what they wanted from Vi's house but I'd not found much that called out to me. I'd never lived there - I'd moved out from the previous family home in my late teens - so it wasn't stacked with associations from my childhood. Apart from one, a painting of a forest scene that had hung on the wall from my earliest memories and had been carried from house to house over the years, usually ending up in a toilet or dark corner. Nobody could remember anything about it (or wanted it) but I realised it was probably my oldest memento and it now hangs in my home. A more recent artwork was a self portrait by my sister Terri that she'd painted for Vi and that I'd always admired, this was graciously released to me. And finally one of the giant quartz crystals that my father had grown as part of his work. I hauled this back home (it weighs a ton!) and had a stand made to hold it on my living room window sill and let the light stream through.
Visiting Linda, Cardiff, September
Another gift from the universe came at the end of July in blackberry season. I'd been too distracted to go out and harvest the local brambles but one day I glanced out and noticed long, fruit-laden tendrils reaching down from my (uphill) neighbour's garden. A goodly crop now sits in my freezer, ready to bring a taste of summer to the bleak midwinter.
Vi's house sale finally completed (after a few last-minute niggles) and I found myself with a substantial sum sitting in my newly opened online bank account. I'd spent most of my life carefully avoiding thinking about future finances but as a pensioner (a concept I'm still grappling with) it felt like I needed to finally sort things out and see just where I stood in relation to Mr Wolf. I booked a session with my financial advisor (the man who'd set up my pension many years earlier) and started giving some serious thought to what I wanted to do in the future. Would I be able to retire in some level of comfort? Did I want to keep working? If I needed to drastically downsize what would that look like? Despite my inner fears that I'd end up destitute & in the gutter - a persistent image that, for some strange reason, has been with me for most of my life - I was pretty sure that I'd be reasonably comfortable but whether that would be in a cramped bedsit over a shop or a modernist converted chapel (still my dream home) I really had no idea.
Scilly Isles holiday, September
The news was surprisingly, even shockingly, good. My efforts at slinging most of my surplus income into a pension fund, combined with my relatively frugal lifestyle over the last decade, had resulted in a sizeable sum put away for the future. And the future was imminent! With a reasonably modest draw down I could sustain my current level of expenditure almost indefinitely, even without a salary coming in. I needed to move some of my inheritance (a word I never thought I'd be using) into my pension fund and ISA, and would need to do so again in the next financial year, but generally my finances were in good order and everything was under control. A chat with my sister Kay, who owns half of my house, confirmed that she was happy to remain invested in (my) property and would be happy to move that investment along if I decided to move home. Suddenly (at least from my perspective) I'd moved from seeing what I needed to do to thinking about what I wanted to do, and I started to let that idea percolate through my thoughts.
While doing so it was time for another holiday! My dear friend Linda had always wanted to see the Scilly Isles and it was somewhere I'd never visited so we booked a short getaway there in early September. We weren't exactly blessed by the weather - and it led to delayed & turbulent flights in both directions - but the islands were sweet and we had a picturesque & relaxing time there. There are some pictures here.
New iPhone & iPad, November
With a fresh influx of funds I decided to splurge on some new tech but was left dangling while new models were teased and the ones I wanted took their time before appearing in stock. Eventually I bought both a new iPhone and iPad Mini. The phone is bigger & slightly heavier than I'd like (my previous, smaller version is no longer produced) but not quite the giant slab that I see other people carrying, and I've mostly gotten used to its greater heft. The biggest change is in the camera (which is often the case) which is appreciably better and now has a nice telephoto. The iPad is essentially identical to my old one but a little more future proof - and the old one will be a nice present for a friend who's currently using my previous old one.
Another upgraded gadget was my electric toothbrush. I was expecting a simple on/off switch but when I first turned it on it went through an 'onboarding' sequence involving selecting my preferred language, the colour of the activity light, and the default 'brushing mode'. Luckily it calmed down after the first run and all I end up using is the on/off switch but who knows? Maybe I'll end up going through the Settings Menu for a more personalised oral hygiene procedure at some point in the future. Despite all the extraneous bells & whistles it does brush nicely and I do appreciate the battery level indicator.
I've been using a rowing machine as my choice of bad weather exercise for several years now but I've tended to go for cheap & cheerful units which tend to break down after a few years. When my latest machine gave up the ghost in October I decided to go for something (a little) fancier and plumped for a 'magnetic resistance' model, recommended for the 'serious, but not that serious' user. It's much nicer than my old ones but has a similarly barely usable performance tracker. Sigh! Indoor rowing remains one of the most tedious modes of exercise but it somehow fits with my lifestyle and does at least give me a regular block of uninterrupted music listening time.
New rowing machine, November
I'd toyed (if you pardon the expression) with returning to playing board games since the pandemic but hadn't found a solo game that had the right mix of complexity and (lack of?) difficulty. In the early Autumn a post in my Facebook feed announced dates for a monthly board game social club in Bradford and in October I finally managed to get along to a meeting. I found a friendly & welcoming group and have had a couple of sessions being introduced to various games and, generally, coming a distant last in all of them. This has actually been very encouraging, an opportunity to learn some abstract skills in the face of serious (if playful) opposition and a much needed extension of my local social circle. I plan to become a regular in 2025.
October brought my flu & Covid jabs, this year's doses coming on the same day with one in each arm. The winter vaccinations have become an annual reminder that I'm now officially old and need ongoing medical maintenance but my general health has been pretty good through the year, the only real physical issue was a two-week persistent cough in April that left me shattered. A more insidious gradual degradation has been with my memory which has become increasingly flaky & unreliable, at least from my perspective. Completely forgetting an optician appointment was the low point and felt very scary, I've been using my online calendar extensively to keep track of dates & reservations for years now so to find I'd forgotten to check it for reminders was alarming on a meta-level. I suspect I'm over-sensitive about this after seeing Vi's memory fade away alarmingly quickly and there have been no real problems in my work & social life (the eye test was easily rescheduled) but my impending dotage looms as an ominous harbinger on the horizon.
Board game social, November
As we moved into winter there was still no action on pay reviews at work, the latest promised dates came & went with neither progress or explanation. The last update was that there 'might' be some individual rises in the New Year but the general pay review process would be happening in the summer, honest, we really mean it this time! (I may have paraphrased the actual announcement). By this point it was clear that waiting for a raise was becoming a fool's errand and I started to think seriously about my work future.
To be honest the pay situation was far from the most troubling issue at work. After the (from my perspective) disastrous reorganisation at the start of 2023 we'd drifted back towards our previous structure but the incoming stream of work remained erratic and poorly defined, leading to long stretches of waiting for answers, clarifications, dependancies, and the like. On top of which a lot of the work seemed at cross purposes with selling soap, the ostensible objective of the app, with huge amounts of time & resources poured into features that, at best, didn't add anything to the shopping experience for our long-suffering users. There was some satisfaction from the actual coding work as I continued to impress myself with learning new techniques (& technologies) and my teammates were fun, friendly, & great to work with but I found myself becoming increasingly detached from the end product. Working part-time probably added to this disengagement although I now felt as productive in three days as I'd previously been in five.
Guy Fawkes, November
Weighing it all up I decided that it was time to set an end date. The temptation to hang on and keep topping up my savings was strong - who knows what the future holds? - but my finances seemed to be in good order and continuing to grin & bear it, even in something of an easy number, felt a bit like selling my soul in diminishing increments. My notice period was three months so some advance planning was required, with an eye to some fiscal tidiness I decided to leave in early April so as to maximise my 2024/25 pension contributions while the symbolic alignment with Easter felt appropriate for a rebirth on my life path. I was given the OK to go back to full-time working through my notice period but delayed handing my notice in until the company's Christmas bonus was safely in my bank account.
In late November I set off on some errands only to find the river had risen to the entranceway of my home, sealing me & the other residents off from the rest of the town. This was a more serious inundation than those earlier in the year but in reality my isolation was only due to not owning a proper pair of wellies, on our side of the river the water was probably only half a metre deep. A couple of friends texted that the flooding of Bradford on (under?) Avon had made it to BBC news but when I watched the footage on their website it soon became apparent that this wasn't my town at all! A sad reflection of the push for news being 'new' rather than 'accurate' I suspect, the film was later retitled 'a town in Wiltshire'. Sigh! There are more pictures of the floods here.
The Ivy Asia, Cardiff, November
December bought a bit of a health scare - I was in the local chemist picking up my prescription when the shop assistant offered a 'free blood pressure checkup', something that's increasingly common around here. Having a few minutes free I decided to go for it and soon found myself in a small treatment room with the usual electronic blood pressure machine slowly chugging away & constricting my arm, however after taking one reading the process was repeated on the other arm and then repeated again, with the operator's brow growing increasingly furrowed. Finally she turned to me, wrote the readings on a piece of paper, and solemnly suggested I see a doctor "Soon". Eek! I went round to the health centre where I took a further reading on their more substantial machine and was reassured that this, although still high, was not in the 'dangerous' range and that I should take a week's worth of measurements on my home unit (which I'd bought after my diabetes diagnosis) and bring those in for the doctor to review. My readings were (mostly) 'high but not dangerously high' and I've not yet heard back from the doctor but I suspect I'll be joining many of my similarly aged friends and adding BP medication to my pill tray before too long.
Ever since the pandemic I've been taking regular walks around my local area (& beyond) and making a conscious effort to find the beauty around me and capture it on my ever-present phone camera. This year was no exception and there are a selection of my pictures here.
It's been a good year for reading with 85 books purchased from the Kindle store along with a couple on wood-based media. My favourite was probably All the Seas of the World by Guy Gavriel Kay, a wonderfully engaging (sort of) alternate history fantasy epic. Other authors I've enjoyed include Emily Tesh, Rose Tremain, Peter Grainger (the DC Smith series & other stories), Olivia Atwater, Pip Williams, Adrian Tchaikovsky (The Tyrant Philosophers series), C M Waggoner, & Iain M Banks (rereading the Culture series).
More flooding, November
I've made it to the cinema for eleven films this year, quite an increase for me. Sadly most of them turned out to be disappointing to varying degrees (perhaps I'm just becoming more of an old grump) but I enjoyed Inside Out 2, Bikeriders, & My Old Ass. On the small screen I've been rewatching a lot of my video collection, many of which have ended up consigned to the secondhand DVD market or local charity shops. There have been a few additions (although I suspect I'll be moving to streaming services soon), the best were Severance (excellent near-future sci-fi), Occupied (scarily plausible alternate present day politics), The Hour (alternate 1950's media & politics), & Rome (semi-fictionalised early Roman Empire).
It's been a lean year for music with only five new albums and a handful of singles. I find myself happy to delve into my existing music collection more & more, often with a random selection from the shuffle function, and less tempted to go looking for new stuff. Which feels a bit sad. Song of the year was Shake! by The Courettes.
Misty evening, November
After the upheaval & loss of 2023 this year has been a time of recovery & rebuilding, laying the foundations & groundwork for major changes to come. Although not much has been achieved in purely physical terms I now have a much clearer view of where I stand and can start to make decisions about my future from a much more solid base, even if those actual decisions remain just over the horizon for now. Leaving my job feels like the right choice but after that I don't know if I'll be tempted back into coding - maybe as occasional or part-time work, maybe as a volunteer for a project that feels worthwhile - or if programming will join my collection of erstwhile abilities who's time has passed. I've been talking about major projects with my home - both structural & decorative - for many years, maybe 2025 will be when I finally get around to them. Or perhaps I'll find myself a new house, the funky converted chapel I dream of or a return to the coast (or both?). Will more free time draw out more of my creative endeavours - music, writing, or whole new avenues - or will I succumb to the siren call of Netflix and catch up on all the streamed media I've been missing. Perhaps there will be time for both? The future may not be bright enough to require shades (yet) but there's less of a sense of 'more of the same' which has provided a lot of my background soundtrack in recent years.
On my first contract job, back in my early 20's, I was working at a client site as the sole representative when I had the dramatic realisation that I was 'the expert' and had no-one else to turn to for answers. This was initially terrifying but as questions & issues came up I found I rose to the occasion, dealing with what I could (and finding that I could cope with more than I'd anticipated) and making workable contingency plans when more support was required. With both parents gone I find myself in a similar position now (even if only symbolically) and feel those same abilities returning, a calm central core for both myself and those around me caught in the same currents. It feels very odd to be 'the grown-up' but perhaps this aspect of myself is a necessary counterweight to my impulsive Imp Of The Perverse at this time in my life. Changes are coming and, for once, I feel like I'm (mostly) in the driving seat. Mostly. Forward in all directions!
(Click on the pictures for larger versions.)
December 2024